10 Education & Schooling
When considering schooling and education options for their children on the autism spectrum, parents often start with: “Can my child go to school?” Sometimes this question is also phrased as a need - “my child needs to go to school. How will he get an education otherwise?” This seemingly simple thought opens the doors on a variety of questions and concerns that parents often struggle with.
This video is about making school choices for children on the autism spectrum.
The short answer to “Can my child go to school?” is yes, but the more important question is, “Should they, and if so, under what conditions?” It is important to note that it is not just about academic abilities. Readiness for school depends upon a wider set of prerequisite skills—communication (verbal or non-verbal), the ability to self-regulate, engage in social or learning routines with support, and manage transitions and the unpredictability that comes with a group setting. If these skills are still developing, a better question to ask is, “Will school help my child build these skills or will it overwhelm them?”
However, before addressing this question, it’s important to think about what schooling and education mean and how they are different. Education is the acquisition of knowledge through formal learning and instruction. In contrast, schooling pertains to obtaining an education within a formal school setup. This difference is important as it helps us move beyond mere attendance and focus on a comprehensive educational journey for children on the autism spectrum. While we are at a point to choose between the both, it is worthy to note that education is more important than schooling.
Recognizing that traditional education systems may pose challenges for autistic children is important. Unlike neurotypical children, the learning experience for autistic children can be difficult within conventional educational frameworks. This realization sets the stage for reimagining education to better suit the unique needs of children with autism.
In this section, we address a few questions, concerns and thoughts relating to education and schooling for children on the spectrum. For the purposes of this section, the children we are talking about are 5-11 year olds.
10.1 What can School do?
Schooling can ideally help the child in getting social exposure, opportunities for peer interaction, academic and cognitive stimulation and a structured environment for skill development. However, the child will be met with the advantages of going to a school only if they are supported, understood and included meaningfully. If a child is struggling to keep up with the demands, or facing social exclusion, the benefits of school may never materialize and it can cost the mental health of the child. Parents are often told or they believe that the child will learn from being around their peers by observing and imitating, which works wonders for many children, but the assumption may be flawed for children having challenges in imitation or understanding social cues. Autistic kids often lack imitation skills or they imitate without full understanding. They may copy speech or behavior, but may not comprehend the meaning or intent. As a parent, one has to examine and have clarity on:
What are the skills we want them to learn? - Is it responding to a teacher, sharing, social interaction or just sitting in a group?
What is the nature of each of these skills? - Is it something they’ll pick up naturally like walking or is it something that requires specified instructions like writing or reading?
What is the nature of the learning process for the child? - Can the child learn from the environment or does the child require structured, step by step instructions?
Here is an analogy to understand this better. Imagine you want to teach the child to swim. One can take two approaches to teaching swimming:
Throw the child at the deep end of the pool and expect the child to start swimming as human bodies are naturally designed to swim.
Teach the child with guided instructions
Now, with the first approach, some may learn, while others may struggle and panic. Similarly, putting a completely inexperienced driver in the driving seat of a car in the middle of traffic and leaving them to “figure it out” on the road can turn out to be extremely dangerous and irresponsible of the trainer too.
Throwing them in the deep end or leaving them to “figure it out” might be what we end up doing to an autistic child, when we place them in a classroom without ensuring they understand the environment, they have the skills to participate meaningfully and that they are safe, seen and supported. This is not teaching, it is more of hoping.
The downside of starting with a mainstream school without taking the child’s readiness into account can look like - struggle with meltdowns after school, identity confusion, anxiety, accepting bullying, etc. Autistic children are often expected to “fit in” with neurotypical norms, and many quickly learn to mask their difficulties or develop unhealthy coping behaviours in order to avoid being judged or excluded. These behaviours can be mistaken for successful adaptations but they are likely to take a toll on their mental health in the long run.
10.2 School Readiness
Readiness for school is often equated to chronological age or cognitive abilities. But for an autistic child, it is not just about the ABCs and 123s. School readiness involves a broader functional set of skills which help them navigate and benefit out of a group environment - being able to engage, communicate and learn in a shared space. School readiness in the child can look like:
Being able to communicate their needs - communication doesn’t equate speech (Read more on speech vs. communication). Whether verbal or non-verbal, the child should have a reliable method of communication. It can be through speech or gestures or visuals or using assistive technology. It is important because it facilitates participation in class, seeking help and expressing discomfort, if any.
Being able to handle separation from the primary caregiver - the child should be able to stay away from the caregiver for a period of time without significant distress. This can be built gradually with support.
Ability to self-regulate or co-regulate - A packed school day full of transitions can get overwhelming for autistic children. They should be able to use calming strategies or be open to receiving help from adults to navigate challenges like waiting, turn taking or emotional ups and downs
Ability to participate in a group - The child should be ready or be gradually supported to be a part of a shared space, among peers and adults. Apart from social interaction, group readiness also means ability to follow group rules and routines, managing the noise and navigating the social dynamics.
Ability to access the learning - learning could be through visuals or by observing or even a small group (1:3) support, but the child should be able to access the learning i.e be receptive to the learning. Learning can be social skills or academics or functional skills.
Prerequisite skills - preschool and primary school
Preschools are often the first structured social environment a child is exposed to. For an autistic kid, this requires careful planning. The focus here again should not be solely on age, but the readiness. Key prerequisite skills include:
Basic communication - the child should have a functional way to express their needs
Separation tolerance - the child should be able to be away from the primary caregiver for a brief duration without extreme distress
Tolerance for group settings - the ability to stay in a space with others without distress or disruptive behaviors
Regulation - being able to regulate emotions with support
Awareness of and interest in peers- ability to show interest in others even if not interacting as much.
At the primary school level, the environment becomes more demanding. There is an expectation of sustained attention, task completion, and social cooperation.
Understanding and following routines: the child should be able to follow structured daily routines with some predictability.
Attention span: the ability to stay engaged in an activity for at least 10–15 minutes with adult support.
Instruction comprehension: understanding simple one- or two-step instructions.
Emotional regulation skills: cope with changes, handle sensory inputs, and seek help when distressed.
Academic foundations: Foundational academic skills have to be in place for a meaningful learning experience - recognition of letters, numbers, colors or at least emerging pre-academic skills.
10.3 What can education look like
Without the prerequisite skills, school can become a space of confusion and anxiety, hindering growth. However, readiness does not equate complete independence. Readiness includes components such as the capacity for the child to participate in a group with support, the presence of an environment that scaffolds their needs and a team that works collaboratively.
Therefore, let the child lead the decision. The goal is not just school attendance. It also includes meaningful learning and development. Whether that happens in a classroom, in nature or at a kitchen table, the right path should fit your child’s current strengths, needs and comfort. The path need not be what is typical or expected.
So the relevant questions is - will my child be able to learn the skills I hope he/she will learn if they go to school. If yes, then it makes sense to look for a school environment that supports these goals. The child should be in a position to deal with the social and cognitive demands of going to a school. If not, our next question can be: is going to school the only way to learn these skills? To which the answer is a firm no. The alternatives include:
Mainstream school with support - shadow teachers or inclusive education aids, an Individualised Education Plan (IEP) driven integration with goals tailored to the child.
Special Education Schools, where there is likely be focused attention and specialized curriculum to meet the needs of the child and an environment with reduced sensory overload.
Alternate schools (Waldorff, Montessori etc) - schools that follow a different curriculum from the mainstream schools, it is more flexible with the sensory needs, mixed age groups and experiential learning.
Homeschooling - parents or guardians take responsibility for the child’s learning outside of traditional school setting. It gives the space for specialised curriculum, targeted interventions and sensory accommodations. Socialization and peer interaction can be tailored to the child’s comfort level and interests. Parents can join hands with other neurodivergent families and create a homeschooling community including experts from the field. It requires a considerable amount of parent’s time and effort, but allows for complete customisation of the child’s education plan to suit their strengths, interests and challenges.
These alternatives can be temporary or long term based on the child’s evolving needs. These are not limiting opportunities, but ensures that the opportunities are appropriate, accessible and beneficial. School can be a wonderful place for growth, but only when the environment matches the child’s readiness and the learning process suits their way of processing the world. It is very important that the child is learning safely, authentically and with joy.
10.4 What should children learn at this age?
As parents find a suitable learning environment for the child, another related question is what should the child learn at this age. This can also be used to assess whether the environment chosen for the child is working or not. Here is a general understanding of the developmental goals during the early schooling (5-11 year olds) that is meaningful for the child’s growth.
A learning environment is often seen as a place of learning to read, write and do math. While these are important, learning, especially at this young age, should include broader aspects for neurodivergent children. They need opportunities to learn how to relate to others, understand emotions, regulate oneself, build a sense of self and engage meaningfully with the world around them - growth across all developmental areas should be nurtured. Core developmental domains include:
Physical development - gross motor and fine motor skills, body awareness and co-ordination and self-care routines
Cognitive development - Problem solving and reasoning, exploration and curiosity, understanding cause and effect and foundational concepts - numbers, shapes, time, patterns, letters
Communication and language development - expressing needs, feelings and thoughts, listening and following instructions, building vocabulary and using functional language, understanding social language (greeting, turn taking etc)
Socio-emotional learning - recognising and understanding emotions, developing empathy and perspective taking, forming relationships, regulating emotions, beginning to advocate for their needs
Executive functioning - Attention and focus, planning and task initiation, flexible thinking and impulse control
Functional life skills - asking for help, participating in routines, transitioning between tasks, time management, personal hygiene and grooming, cleaning, eating, expressing needs
Leisure skills - activities that children engage in for fun, relaxation and creative expression - games/ sports, art and craft, music, dance etc.
Academically, pre-literacy (story listening, sound awareness, letter recognition), early numeracy (counting, comparing quantities, patterns), matching, sorting, categorizing and learning through play and experience
Essentially, what matters is how a child learns more than what a child learns. A learning environment that honors play as a learning tool, especially for kids this age, promotes deep learning and engagement as play gives the opportunity for children to develop their problem solving, imagination and negotiation skills. Ultimately, the goal of early schooling should be to lay the foundation for a lifelong love of learning and connection.
10.5 How does a learning environment look like
Just like the child is assessed for readiness, it is important to look for an environment that supports the child’s growth. The learning space should be more than just a place of instructions and accommodations. Finding the best fit can be overwhelming, but rather than worrying if the school will take the child, a more empowering question to ask is “Does the school/ environment have what it takes to support my child? Is the school or environment prepared to support my child?” For an autistic child, it should be a space where they are understood, accepted and meaningfully included in the learning process.The following are some basic factors to look for:
Neurodiversity awareness - An environment that understands neurodiversity must go beyond surface-level accommodations. It must embrace the diversity of brain types and recognise that autistic thinking, feeling, and learning are different and not necessarily deficient. Ask questions like:
Is neurodiversity a part of staff training or classroom conversations?
Are behaviours interpreted through a strengths-based lens, instead of being problematized?
Are children supported to self-advocate or express boundaries?
A truly inclusive culture is likely to be visible in the language used around neurodivergence, the materials in the classroom, and the way the people in the environment approach neurodiversity.
Meaningful inclusion - Inclusion in its real sense means that every child has access to learning, participation, and peer interaction in ways that work for them. Inclusion is not about just placing a child in the same room as everyone else and letting them be. Look for:
Teachers who differentiate instructions and use visual, kinesthetic, or play-based strategies.
Flexible seating, modified tasks, and support to participate in group routines, without forcing conformity.
A culture where differences are normalised and not hidden or masked.
Inclusion does not mean expecting autistic children to imitate neurotypical peers at the cost of their own regulation or identity. It means adapting the environment so all children can learn and belong.
Response to sensory and emotional needs - Many autistic children have challenges with sensory processing, transitions and emotional regulation. The school should see them as needs to be met with appropriate strategies rather than as a problem to be fixed. Some relevant questions are:
Is the environment flexible to sensory needs - are there quiet corners, or allowance of movement breaks?
How do teachers respond to emotional distress or shutdowns? Is co-regulation part of the approach? Are teachers equipped with calming strategies?
Are transitions between activities paced with visual schedules or routines to support predictability?
Children shouldn’t be expected to “cope” on their own. A responsive environment anticipates needs and is ready to support them rather than reacting to behaviours.
Ongoing training for teachers and non-teaching staff - Inclusion without sensitisation is incomplete. In order to be inclusive, the environment requires prepared adults and a space that supports the child’s way of being. Teachers are the foundation of a child’s school experience and every school that admits autistic children must commit to ongoing training for its staff. This should ideally include:
Fostering an understanding of autism and neurodivergence beyond clinical labels.
Familiarity and fluency in communication strategies like AAC, visual schedules, or gestures.
Training in regulation techniques like co-regulation, sensory support, and flexible expectations.
Training for non-teaching staff as well - transport workers, helpers, and administrative staff, so the entire school ecosystem feels safe and inclusive.
Without proper training, autistic children are often misunderstood. Teachers, too, face stress and burnout when they’re not equipped to support neurodivergent students. Sensitisation is learning to recognise distress, respond with empathy, adapt communication, and create safe, inclusive spaces. It helps teachers understand children’s behaviour as a way of communication, replacing control with connection.
Curriculum that goes beyond academics - Autistic children may have unique learning pathways. Academic skills are only one part of a child’s development. One has to know whether the school values, focuses and supports holistic growth, which can look like the curriculum focusing on and including:
Physical development: fine motor, gross motor, and self-care routines.
Cognitive skills: improving problem-solving, understanding cause-effect, memory, and attention.
Social-emotional learning: recognising emotions, building relationships, coping with change.
Functional life skills: following routines, managing transitions, using tools (e.g., cutlery, bags, visual schedules).
Leisure skills: engaging in play, art, music, or other recreational activities that offer joy and regulation.
A meaningful learning environment should support holistic development of the child, and not just the usual academic checklists.
Some questions you can pose to the management to understand a learning environment that you are looking to place your child in are:
What support systems are in place for neurodivergent learners?
Is there any special educator or an inclusion expert on staff?
How are the teachers trained to support emotional and sensory regulation?
Can the curriculum be adapted to meet my child’s learning pace and style?
What is your approach to behaviour - do you use reward/punishment systems, or do you look at underlying needs?
Are there spaces for downtime or sensory breaks?
How do you work with families to create individualised plans?
Hence, it is not just about the child being ready for a shared learning space, but also finding a learning space that is ready for your child.
10.6 Inclusion - What it is and What it is not
“Inclusion is not a destination, but an approach.”
Inclusion is not about making autistic children less autistic. It does not operate from the belief that children will grow out of autism by being in an inclusive setup. It is also not just about the space - just because they are physically present in the space, does not mean a child is included. If they are physically present, but are not attended to emotionally or no facilitation of meaningful learning takes place, inclusion has failed in that space.
Inclusion is often misunderstood as including children with special needs in a regular classroom. It goes deep beyond that, creating an environment where all the children irrespective of their neurological profile, physical ability, pace of learning, socioeconomic background, and any other differences, have equal access to the learning process and the curriculum being provided in the environment. It requires a fundamental shift in the system to remove barriers and meet the diverse needs of the children. Inclusive systems value the unique contributions students of all backgrounds bring to the classroom and allow diverse groups to grow side by side, to the benefit of all.
An inclusive system is built on the belief that a diverse classroom enriches the learning experience. The classroom culture promotes belonging - where everyone feels accepted, understood and valued. It could also include adults from diverse backgrounds or neurological profiles. In practical terms, it means:
- Teachers are trained to work with children with various academic and other abilities
- The system recognises different learning styles and paces as well as different ways of participating
- The curriculum is flexible to adapt to different learners
- There is time, space and energy built into the syste, to provide the required support - visuals, support teachers, sensory spaces, small group learning settings, extra academic support, emotional support etc. etc to help children access learning in a way that would work for them
- The classroom culture promotes belonging - every child is participating, valued and accepted.
- The environment reflects diversity among the adults who shape the learning environment, including teachers, aides, administrators, and support staff.
“Inclusivity is actually maintained when all members of a group are able to participate in its activities, which means, provisions made are considerate of all members and not just those from specific groups or, with special abilities, disabilities, and/or needs.”
It’s about making school a place where they can grow, learn, be themselves and feel respected. When classrooms/ systems are designed with multiple needs in mind, they become more flexible, compassionate, and effective learning environments for every student.
Why is inclusion important?
Inclusion in education promotes equity, belonging and social change. It ensures all the children regardless of their abilities or learning styles, have meaningful learning experiences. For children who might have otherwise been excluded, inclusive systems provide a safe space for authentic expression allowing the child to thrive in his/her own terms.
Beyond the individual, inclusion enriches the entire ecosystem. It challenges stereotypes, reduces stigma and fosters empathy and collaboration among children and educators. In doing so, it paves the way to create a more just and equitable society, where differences are valued and not just accommodated.
10.7 Supporting autism in the school
Now that schools are being called upon to meaningfully include diverse children, the role of schools and teachers requires intention, preparation and commitment. How should the school approach and support the admission of an autistic kid into the environment?
Before admission, schools should consider:
Assessment of readiness from both sides - just as a child’s readiness is essential, so is the school’s. Does the school have the capacity - resources, training, and flexibility to provide a meaningful learning experience for the child?
Having a trained professional on board - Is there a professional on staff who will work with teachers to individualize instruction, adapt materials, and support the child’s specific needs?
Facility to involve shadow teachers or give one to one support - some children benefit greatly from a dedicated support person to navigate through the school routine. This person would ideally serve as a bridge between the child, teacher, and peers.
Clear criteria for admission - the criteria for admitting an autistic child should be clear and the school should ensure that adequate support is in place. If the school cannot support the child, the school should be honest with its limitations and if possible try building on the capacity to include the child
Accommodations and flexibility - From sensory-friendly spaces and visual schedules to adapted assignments and adjusted expectations, schools must be ready to make accommodations not as exceptions, but as part of inclusive practice.
Once admitted, the school holds certain minimum responsibilities towards the learning journey of the child to make it meaningful and supportive:
Curating an IEP - An IEP is a roadmap tailored to the child’s goals, strengths, challenges, and supports required. It should be created in collaboration with the family and revised regularly.
Regular meeting with parents - Parents and caregivers are experts in their child’s needs. Their involvement in setting goals and reviewing progress is essential.
Sensitisation and training for staff - All teachers and staff should receive basic training in neurodiversity, sensory regulation, emotional support strategies, and inclusive classroom practices.
Support for the teachers
As a teacher, one can expect the following support to facilitate meaningful experience for an autistic child:
Training in Inclusive Practices: understanding autism, communication styles, sensory processing, and behavior from a needs-based lens is foundational.
Team Support: access to a special educator, therapist, or mentor with whom they can consult, plan, and troubleshoot. A collaborative team makes inclusion sustainable.
Classroom adaptation: Inclusion often requires shifting the way a classroom works - incorporating visual supports, allowing movement breaks, using predictable routines, offering multiple ways to demonstrate learning, and being flexible with acceptable behaviors should be allowed.
Reasonable Workload: teachers cannot be expected to carry all the emotional and logistical responsibility alone. Schools should ensure that classrooms are not overcrowded, that support staff are available, and that expectations are realistic.
By investing in training, collaboration, and meaningful accommodations, schools can become spaces where autistic children are not just present, but are understood, supported, and empowered to learn in their own way.
10.8 Video - Education for All - schooling issues in autism
In the video below, Giselle Lobo, a special educator and head of inclusive education services at Sethu, Goa, addresses parents to help them understand what goes into making choices for finding the right school and to provide them with a few guidelines when it comes to selecting a school for their children. Here is a summry:
- making a decision where to place your child in which school to place your child is extremely difficult especially for parents of kids with autism
- in order to make the right choice as to which school you are going to admit your child into you have to have a very good understanding of your child - the level of skills that your child has in self-help, being able to follow instructions and play
- you also need to understand the background of the school does the school welcome children is it willing to be accommodative, modify curriculum and the environment to support your child
- you also need to be aware of the curriculum that your child will benefit from most a functional curriculum or an academic curriculum
- do you have the option to place your child in a mainstream school with a life skills resource room or an academic resource room
- and finally, be aware of the supports your child needs - a visual schedule, a shadow teacher, buddies, activity based instruction, and see if the school is willing to provide them
10.9 Beyond One Path: Choosing the Right Learning Approach for Your Child
Recognizing that learning is about more than academics (encompasses emotional, social, functional, and joyful growth), families naturally ask: What is the right educational setting for my child right now? Very often, this question is posed as a choice between early intervention and schooling. For many parents of neurodivergent children, especially between ages 4 and 8, this question can feel overwhelming. The encouraging truth is that there isn’t just one right answer. What matters most is choosing what helps your child thrive, not just survive.
Early Intervention Versus Schooling: How to Choose for Children Aged 4–6
As schools increasingly commit to meaningful inclusion, families of autistic children aged 4–6 often face a crucial decision: should they continue with early intervention services or transition their child into a formal school environment? This choice can feel overwhelming, but understanding the purpose and benefits of each approach can help guide families toward what is best for their child.
What Is Early Intervention?
Early intervention refers to specialized therapies and supports—such as speech therapy, occupational therapy, behavioral interventions, and family training—delivered as early as possible, often starting at age two or three. These services are designed to address developmental delays and help children build foundational skills in daily living, communication, and social interaction - regulation, play, and connection; readiness for later learning - skills such as attention, regulation, interaction, and communication. If your child is still developing these, early intervention through therapists, play-based programs, or home support is often more beneficial than prematurely placing them in a structured academic setting. Research shows that starting integrated developmental and behavioral interventions as soon as autism is diagnosed or suspected can have major long-term positive effects. The early years are a period of rapid brain development, making intervention especially effective at this stage. Research consistently shows that children who receive early intervention are more likely to experience significant progress in language, cognitive, and adaptive skills, and in some cases, may see a reduction in autism symptoms over time.
What Does (or should) Schooling Offer?
Formal schooling, including preschool and kindergarten, introduces children to structured routines, group learning, and socialization with peers. Schools can provide Individualized Education Programs (IEPs), accommodations, and access to a team of professionals. For some children, this environment fosters academic readiness, independence, and social growth. When schools are prepared with trained staff, sensory-friendly spaces, and the flexibility to adapt teaching methods, autistic children can thrive and participate meaningfully alongside their peers, provided the child is school ready.
How to Decide: Key Considerations
Child’s Individual Needs and Readiness - If your child is still developing basic communication, social, or self-help skills, early intervention may be the most appropriate focus. These services are highly individualized and often involve parents as partners in therapy. If your child is showing readiness for group activities, can follow simple routines, and benefits from peer interaction, school may be a positive next step, especially if the school is equipped to provide the necessary support.
School’s Capacity and Support - Before enrollment, assess whether the school has trained professionals, the ability to individualize instruction, and a willingness to provide accommodations. If the school cannot offer adequate support, it may be best to continue with early intervention while working with the school to build capacity for future inclusion.
Blending Both Approaches - For many families, a combination works best. Children might attend school for part of the day and receive therapies outside of school hours. This blended approach allows for continued skill-building through intervention while benefiting from the social and academic experiences that school provides.
As parents make these decisions, they can sonsult with developmental pediatricians, therapists, and educators. Comprehensive evaluations can help determine whether your child is ready for school or would benefit from continued early intervention.
Need not be mutually exclusive
Early intervention and schooling are not mutually exclusive; the right choice depends on your child’s current developmental stage and the quality of available support at school. Early intervention is critical for building foundational skills and can have lasting positive effects, especially when started as soon as autism is diagnosed or suspected. Schooling offers opportunities for socialization and academic growth, but only if the child is ready and the environment is prepared and supportive. Many families find a gradual transition, or a combination of both, helps their child reach their fullest potential.
Ultimately, the decision should be guided by your child’s unique needs, the readiness and resources of the school, and ongoing input from professionals and your family. Starting early, staying flexible, and advocating for the right support will give your child the best chance to thrive.
10.10 Pushing children through mainstream school
Inclusion in mainstream schools is a right, but meaningful inclusion requires more than simply placing neurodivergent children—autistic, ADHD, or otherwise—into classrooms and hoping they will cope. Too often, children who appear quiet, compliant, or academically able are left to “manage” in environments that are not prepared or willing to meet their needs. When we ignore the nuanced support these children require and push them through the system because they seem to be coping, the consequences are profound and long-lasting.
Initial Challenges: The Invisible Struggle
Many autistic children who are kept in mainstream classrooms are there not because they are thriving, but because they are not disruptive. Their quietness is mistaken for adjustment, but in reality, it often reflects withdrawal and disengagement. These children can become almost invisible—present in body but not in spirit or participation. Their relationships with teachers and peers may be minimal or non-existent, and they are often left to navigate the day with little meaningful interaction. When they come to therapy, it becomes clear how much they have regressed—skills they once had fade, and even basic communication can become a struggle. The classroom often expects little of them, and so they get away with giving the bare minimum effort, reinforcing a cycle of passivity and isolation.
Cognitive Gaps and the Illusion of Progress
Academically “bright” children in primary school may still develop significant gaps in understanding as they progress. Autistic students often excel at pattern recognition, rote learning, and multiple-choice tests, but these strengths can mask deeper difficulties with abstraction and concept formation. As the curriculum becomes more abstract in middle and high school, these gaps widen. Extra tuition and relentless academic focus do little to address the underlying issues; instead, learning becomes mechanical and disconnected from real understanding. The child may pass exams, but the knowledge is superficial, and the process of learning loses meaning.
Life Skills and Independence: The Forgotten Curriculum
When the focus is solely on academic achievement, essential life skills are neglected. Planning, organizing, self-care, and independent decision-making fall by the wayside. By the time these students finish school, many cannot manage basic daily tasks or initiate activities on their own. Parents, in their anxiety to ensure academic success, often continue to micromanage, unintentionally impairing independence. The result is young adults who may know how to cook or organize in theory but never take initiative, remaining passive observers in their own lives.
Long-Term Consequences: Case Reflections
The stories of young adults who were pushed through mainstream school without adequate support are sobering. One young man with ADHD, after years of bottling up stress, experienced a complete breakdown and refused to continue his education. Another, a bright autistic adult, passed exams but never developed the social or emotional skills needed for adult life, struggling with unemployment, isolation, and emotional dysregulation. Both cases highlight how academic success, in the absence of holistic support, can leave neurodivergent individuals unprepared for life beyond school—emotionally, socially, and practically.
The Cost of Invalidation and Missed Communication
Mainstream schooling, when not thoughtfully adapted, often prioritizes compliance and correctness over acceptance and genuine connection. Casual conversation—the foundation of social bonds and self-expression—is rarely nurtured, leading to a “deficit of conversation” that follows autistic individuals into adulthood. When children cannot communicate their discomfort or needs, they experience deep invalidation and distress. Parents, fearing non-compliance, may become overprotective, further limiting opportunities for independence and self-advocacy.
A Call for Meaningful Engagement
The lesson is clear: simply expecting children to “do it quietly” or fit in is not the answer. True inclusion means going beyond visible problems and academic performance to foster emotional regulation, communication, and self-worth. It means creating environments where neurodivergent children are not just present, but genuinely understood, valued, and supported to develop all aspects of their identity and not just their test scores.
10.11 Homeschooling as an option
Homeschooling is increasingly considered by families of autistic children who seek a more individualized, supportive, and flexible approach to education. For some families, homeschooling is not a last resort, but a thoughtful, empowering choice. However, the decision to homeschool brings up important questions, apprehensions, and practical considerations. Common Apprehensions and Challenges include:
Socialization: One of the major concerns could be that homeschooled children may have fewer opportunities to interact with peers, potentially impacting their social skills. This requires parents to be proactive in seeking out social opportunities through groups, clubs, or community events
Parental Commitment: Homeschooling demands significant time, energy, and organizational skills from parents. Not all families have the flexibility or resources to dedicate themselves to full-time teaching and therapy integration
Need for Expertise: Parents may feel unprepared to teach certain subjects or address specific learning needs. Accessing professional guidance, training, and support networks is crucial to overcome this challenge
Potential for Isolation: Both the child and the parent can experience isolation if not connected with broader homeschooling or autism support communities.
What is homeschooling and why might it be the better option?
Homeschooling is not just replicating the structure of traditional school at home. Instead, it is an educational approach that can be highly personalized to a child’s strengths, interests, and needs. For autistic children, this often means adapting the pace, content, and environment to reduce stressors and maximize engagement. It can involve creative, real-world learning, integration of therapies, and flexibility in daily routines, rather than rigid adherence to a standard curriculum. It can be a better option because:
Tailored Learning: Homeschooling allows parents to customize academic goals, lessons, teaching methods, and schedules to fit the child’s unique learning style and pace. This can be especially valuable for autistic children, whose needs may not be completely met in a mainstream classroom
Reduced Sensory Overload: The environment can be better controlled to minimize sensory triggers, such as noise and bright lights, which are common in traditional schools and can be distressing for autistic children
Integrated Therapies: Parents can seamlessly incorporate speech, occupational, or behavioral therapies into the daily routine, ensuring that therapeutic goals are consistently addressed alongside academic learning
Safety and Comfort: Homeschooling provides a relatively safe space free from bullying, exclusion, or misunderstanding, allowing children to learn and express themselves without fear of judgement
Flexible Socialization: While socialization is different from school, families can arrange playdates, group activities, and community outings that are positive and manageable for them and their child, rather than overwhelming.
However, there are some prerequisites to be fulfilled for effective homeschooling:
Time and Commitment: At least one adult should have the ability to dedicate consistent time to planning, teaching, and supporting the child’s learning and development
Willingness to Learn: Parents must be open to learning about autism, teaching strategies, and curriculum adaptation, and to seeking help when needed
Access to Resources: This includes curriculum materials, therapy providers, online learning platforms, and local homeschooling groups for support and guidance
Structured, Supportive Environment: The home should offer a calm, organized space with routines that help the child feel secure and ready to learn.
Getting Help from Outside
For families considering or undertaking homeschooling, connecting with supportive communities and specialized programs can make a world of difference. There are spaces from where a family with an autistic child can seek help wherein they can receive professional support from experts - therapists, educators who can provide interventions and specialized instruction or therapy sessions; build a network with fellow families and form a community and share resources. Here are two examples of organizations we run, that offer structured, community-based support for neurodivergent children and their families:
At Subodha, we are a close-knit community of parents, therapists, and educators working together to empower families. We believe in supporting parents to become active partners in their child’s learning and development. Family Training Program (FTP): We run an intensive three-month program where parents and children come together daily for half-day sessions. This immersive experience strengthens the parent-child bond and equips families with practical skills to support their child’s growth and learning at home. It also helps families decide if they want to continue with Subodha’s community-based programs.
Homeschool Groups: For families who want to homeschool but seek guidance and structure, we facilitate small groups of parents and children. Our senior therapists and educators collaborate with parents to design individualized learning plans tailored to each child’s needs. We provide ongoing support for day-to-day teaching, creating a flexible yet structured environment that blends the best of home and school.
Afterschool and Intensive Support: We offer after-school sessions focusing on academics, social skills, and daily living, as well as half-day intensive programs for children needing one-on-one support. These options can complement homeschooling or support children attending mainstream schools.
At Farmhill learning community, we are a neurodiverse, close-to-nature learning community where autistic and neurotypical children learn side by side, supported and respected for who they are.
Inclusive Philosophy: We believe education should adapt to the child, not the other way around. Our approach honors neurodiversity and focuses on building understanding, confidence, and joy in learning.
Community and Continuity: Farm Hill is not just a school; it’s a community where families, teachers, therapists, and children live and learn together. This continuity allows us to provide consistent, holistic support that integrates education, therapy, and family life.
Rooted in Experience: Our founders, Venu and Chitra, started this journey after their own experiences navigating autism and education. Their vision guides us to create spaces where children are not forced to fit a mold but are empowered to grow authentically.
Support for Homeschooling famlies at Subodha and Farmhill
We provide professional guidance through our team of therapists and educators who help parents craft and adapt individualized learning plans.
We foster a community connection, so families don’t feel isolated but instead share experiences, resources, and encouragement.
We offer flexible support options—from full-time homeschooling groups to afterschool enrichment and therapy—that can be tailored to each family’s needs and schedules.
By working closely with families, we help create learning journeys that are meaningful, sustainable, and centered on the child’s unique strengths and challenges.
10.12 a mix of approaches
Last but not the least, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking in absolutes: school versus homeschooling, therapy versus academics, mainstream versus special education, but real-life experiences and research show that the most effective support often comes from blending different approaches, adapting as the child grows and circumstances change.
Every autistic child is unique. Their strengths, challenges, and preferences can shift over time and also the family’s state of affairs. What works brilliantly one year may need adjustment the next. Rather than forcing a child into a single educational model, families and educators are encouraged to remain flexible, open-minded, and creative in finding what works best for the child and the family at any given moment.
Blending Approaches: What Does It Look Like?
Combining School and Therapy: Many children attend school part-time and receive therapies (speech, occupational, behavioral) outside of school hours. This ensures academic progress while continuing to build foundational skills.
Integrating Home and Community Learning: Homeschooling families often supplement with community classes, playgroups, or therapy sessions, creating a rich, varied learning environment.
Using Multi-Sensory and Cross-Disciplinary Methods: Schools and families can incorporate multi-sensory activities—engaging sight, sound, touch, and movement—to enhance learning and participation. Cross-disciplinary teams, including teachers, therapists, and parents, collaborate to support the child holistically.
Flexible Socialization: Social skills can be developed in many settings—school, therapy groups, community activities, or even online. The key is to find environments where the child feels safe and motivated to connect with others.
It’s perfectly normal to try different options and make changes as needed. Some families start with early intervention, move to mainstream school, then shift to homeschooling for a period, and later reintegrate into group settings. The goal is not to “pick the right path” once and for all, but to respond thoughtfully to the child’s evolving needs and circumstances.
No matter the mix, success depends on strong communication between families, educators, and professionals. Regularly reviewing what’s working and what isn’t ensures that support remains relevant and effective. Involving the child in these conversations, when possible, can also empower them and respect their preferences.
10.13 Conclusion
There is no single “correct” way to educate or support an autistic child. The most meaningful progress happens when families and schools are willing to blend, adapt, and innovate—always putting the child’s well-being and growth at the center and prioritizing what is working for the family. By moving beyond binaries and embracing a mix of approaches, we give every child the best chance to thrive, learn, and find joy in their unique journey.